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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020688">Do cats eat mice?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphireandgold/pseuds/sapphireandgold'>sapphireandgold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But bi at the same time?, Chloè redemption, Crack, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, I made crack!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, In which the author attempts humor, Random &amp; Short, Rated T for these fool's language, Well Chloe is the Lesbian one, here you go, i tried guys, just innocence, oblivious babies, texting au, who am I kidding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:00:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphireandgold/pseuds/sapphireandgold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carapace: my family is my mom, my dad, my bro and my monster for a gf.</p><p>Rena Rouge: wait, WHAT??</p><p>[Carapace has deleted a message]</p><p>Rena Rouge: I SWEAR IM SO FUCKING CLOSE TO BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!</p><p>[Rena Rouge has renamed Carapace to 'Almost single']</p><p>Almost single: I... Deserve that.</p><p>Queen Bee: fuck yea u do.</p><p>Ladybug: I'd dump u on the spot</p><p> </p><p>Or, a groupchat au where Paris' resident superheroes are waaaayyy less serious than should be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Alya Césaire &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug &amp; Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois/Kagami Tsurugi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>130</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Do cats eat mice?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Welcome to my first texting and crack fic. I tried my best and this is heavily inspired by my actual conversations with my best friend(and a coupla other fics) Sit back and read my weird shit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>18:39</strong><br/>
<strong>[Queen Bee has created the group 'The Queen's peasants]</strong></p><p>
<strong>[Queen Bee has added Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge and Carapace]</strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: why hello my loyal subjects 
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: ugh seriously Chloe???? not this again
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: u cant treat your queen like that... its unacceptable. utterly unacceptable
</p><p>
<strong>[Queen Bee has renamed the group 'Hawk moth ass kickers']</strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: OOOHHH!!! m'lady is in this chat (pun intended) ;)))))
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: shut up alley cat
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: So what do we talk about here?
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: is it just me or is Ladybug a bummer????
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: heyyyyyyyy
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
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</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: She is not wrong...
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: Rena stop spying and fangirling and speak already you have been online for ten minutes
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: first of all... its not spying its STALKING
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: and not being able to fangirl is impossible Chat???
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: You got me there ;)))))
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: i have never felt more uncomfortable...
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: dont be. 
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
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</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: HOLY SHIT!!!!
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>:hOly SHiT
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>:  holy shit
</p><p>
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  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: hehehe you all legit jumped in sync
</p><p>
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  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: babe im gonna kill you
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: ill die a happy man
</p><p>
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  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: the moment i dump you you'll die of depression
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
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</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: u srs??? 
</p><p>
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</p><p> 
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: wanna find out BABE
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: i rest my case
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: jeeeezzzz Rena pleeeaassseee teach me your man sorting skillzzz dammmmnnnn
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
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</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: yeah seems you have Carapace under control</p><p>
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  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: I have a gigantic family... It's a must to be commanding.
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: only child
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
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</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: Only child
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</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: only child
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Carapace</strong>: my family is my mom, my dad, my bro and my monster for a gf.
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: wait, WHAT??
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>[Carapace has deleted a message]</strong>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: I SWEAR IM SO FUCKING  CLOSE TO BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>[Rena Rouge has renamed Carapace to 'Almost single']</strong>
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: I... Deserve that.
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: fuck yea u do.
</p><p>
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    <strong></strong>
  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: I'd dump u on the spot.
</p><p>
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</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: Where's Chat??
</p><p>
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  </strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: My kwami was bargaining for cheese. I had to put on noise cancelling headphones but he looks like he is about to cataclysm me so..
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: Tikki loves me and Plagg is a complete angel don't downgrade him to ur level
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: You wound me M'lady. Just like my Purrincess
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: and who is Princess supposed to be???
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: I feel sorry for her.. these puns are awful
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: HWY THQTS OFFENDING.
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: thqts
</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: thqts
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: thqts
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: thqts
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: Guys it was just a TYPO who knew you could be so annoying on text
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: I love being annoying plus, u made two typos. Guys? Should we?
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: fuck yea
</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: hwy
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: hwy
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: hwy 
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: hwy 
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: I don't like you.
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: ncawww mon minou must look cute where ever he is
</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: guys I'm doing homework and like... Do the zeros at the end of the decimals even matter?
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: im legit in the same situation
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: wait nevermind I remember they're worthless
</p><p>
<strong>Rena Rouge</strong>: kinda like u babe
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: Dammmmmmmm
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: Dammmmmmmm
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: Ouch.
</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: that is the meanest thing ever ouch babe
</p><p>
<strong>[Ladybug has renamed Rena Rouge to 'Coldass bitch']</strong>
</p><p>
<strong>Coldass Bitch</strong>: I give Rolls chills

</p><p>
<strong>Almost single</strong>: ten different looks
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: and my looks all kill
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: I kiss him in the mouth
</p><p>
<strong>Coldass Bitch</strong>: I feel all grills
</p><p>
<strong>Almost Single</strong>: he eat in the car
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: that's meals on wheels
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: woo
</p><p>
<strong>Coldass Bitch</strong>: i was born to flex
</p><p>
<strong>Almost Single</strong>: yesss
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: diamonds on my neck
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: I like boarding jets
</p><p>
<strong>Coldass Bitch</strong>: I like morning sex
</p><p>
<strong>Almost Single</strong>: woo
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: but nothing in this world
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: that I like more than cheques
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: Guys... I'm lost
</p><p>
<strong>Ladybug</strong>: OMG CHAT U RUINED OUR SONG!!!! also, WHAT THE FUCK U DON'T KNOW MONEY???
</p><p>
<strong>Chat Noir</strong>: Is that a poem or something?
</p><p>
<strong>Queen Bee</strong>: I'm so done
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was heavily inspired by Superhero Shenanigans and Civilian Catastrophes by peterparkerpanic. Check them out guys they're hilarious. Also, the song they sing along to is Money by Cardi B. If you have energy check that out too.</p><p> </p><p>12 July update</p><p>This was meant to have multiple chapters but I decided, what the heck? This works as a one shot too so... Yeah</p><p>Feel free to yell at me on <a href="https://sapphire-and-gold.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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